一句就逗笑你的沙雕句子，搞怪有趣，烦恼全无

一、我不希望叫我起床的是闹钟，我也不希望叫我起床的是梦想，我希望没有人叫我起床！

I don't want to wake me up with an alarm clock， I don't want to wake me up with a dream， I hope no one wakes me up

二、减肥想吃炸鸡翅的时候，一定要忍住，只有忍一忍，等下吃起来才更香

When you want to eat fried chicken wings to lose weight， you must bear it. Only when you can bear it， it will be more delicious when you eat it

三、人家戴个劳力士绿水鬼，你说人家有钱，我戴个小天才电话手表，你说我有病，你知道我妈找我多方便吗

Somebody else wears a rolex green water ghost， you say somebody else is rich， I wear a small genius telephone watch， you say I am sick， you know my mother find me more convenient

四、每天被闹钟叫醒后，我脑中就会出现两个小人打架，一个说：还早呢再睡会儿！另一个冲上去揍他：你说的这不是废话吗！

Wake up by the alarm clock every day， my mind will appear two SIMS fight， one said: it is still early to sleep some more! Another blunt go up to beat him: what you say this is not nonsense!

五、有些圈子你没必要刻意融入。等到了时候，你自然会被接纳。比如，广场舞。

There are some circles you don't have to join. When the time comes， you will be accepted. For example， square dancing.

六、小时候我妈教我用筷子，我学不会她就打我，现在长大了，我教我妈用手机，她学不会还是打我。

When I was a child， my mother taught me to use chopsticks， she hit me when I could not learn， now grown up， I teach my mother to use a mobile phone， she can not learn or hit me.

七、厚积薄发：脂肪越积越厚，头发越来越薄。

Thick hair: The fat gets thicker and the hair gets thinner.

八、就算失败了九十九次，也要再努力一次，凑个整数。

Even if you fail ninety-nine times， try again to round it up.

九、如果你不开心就去加油站工作，那样就会有很多人对你说加油，还会给你钱。

If you are unhappy and go to the gas station to work， then a lot of people will tell you to fill up and give you money

十、人有两种，一种好看的，一种难看的，你夹在中间，属于好难看的。

There are two kinds of people， a good-looking， ugly， you are in the middle， belong to the ugly.

十一、有什么事直接说，不要问我在不在，不出意外的话近几十年都是在的。

Say what's right， don't ask me if I'm here， it's been around for decades.

十二、今天风挺大的，本来想回家的，结果给我吹到奶茶店来了

Today， the wind is quite strong， originally wanted to go home， but I blew to the milk tea shop

十三、本想好好读书的，奈何肚子越来越大，对不起孩子，我不知道你爸爸是火锅还是奶茶

I want to study hard， but my stomach is getting bigger and bigger， sorry， I don't know your father is hot pot or milk tea

十四、刚刚点外卖的时候，突然想起来自己100斤，我猛地打了自己一耳光，点外卖的时候怎么可以分心！

Just order takeaway time， suddenly think of oneself 100 jins， I suddenly gave himself a slap in the face， order takeaway time how can be distracted!
(m.tAiks.com)

十五、昨天花100万给自己买了台奔驰，签合同和刷卡都很顺利，就是上牌的时候被尿憋醒了